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You Should Start Again by Nneka Julia

Do things

Consuming


For the past few years, I've been picking an overarching theme that I embody for the new year, and monthly themes that provide a more focused lens. I then set monthly actionable goals that are meant to be in alignment with the monthly themes, and that are still aligned with the overarching theme. That theme is the guiding principle or energy that influences my mindset, decisions, and actions throughout the year.

Although I've grown a lot since I started doing this, I'm not pleased with how inconsistent I've been at executing. I also have to recognize that I set myself up with failure with how poorly some of my goals had been planned.

That's changing this year.

I don't believe in things being different overnight so I've been intentional about changing my ways for a few months now. And I'm not saying I'm a brand new person now but it's amazing how things can change when you set intentions behind them.

Up until now, my overarching themes had been single words, but this year I'm going with something I heard Andre 3000 say at his concert I went to last year. It has stuck with me since.

<VideoPlayer src="/NeverAgain.mp4" title="2025 theme" />

<CustomBlockquote author="– Andre 3000">
  We'll never be able to do this again.
</CustomBlockquote>

**I'll never be able to do this again**. That's my theme for the year.

I don't feel like working out? This day will pass and I'll have missed the opportunity to improve the health of future me. I'll never be able to do this again, on that day.

As far as I know, we only get one shot at this so let me go and make the best of all the todays I get.

It's not an excuse to be reckless, I will still move with intention and regard for whoever or whatever I'm affecting with my decisions. But these days it's so easy to let life go by, thinking we'll get rewarded on the back end of it, and that's just not how this works.

So, take this as an invitation to just go and do the thing, and if you ever feel like it, come and [tell me about it](/contact).

Bonne année.

Happy New Year

Congo Avenir - Tabu Ley Rochereau


My instagram caption for this post is: Real life Jumanji but you won't perish here.

I wonder if anybody will catch that perish/Parrish scheme.

Bars aside, this was an amazing day at Nsele Valley Park in Congo (DRC).

Unfortunately, during the safari I didn't see any elephants, and the giraffe was too far for us to get to, but that just gives me a reason to go back next time I'm in Kinshasa.

Also, she's not likely to see this but shout-out to Annabelle, the guide, for dropping so much knowledge.

Parc de la vallée de la N'sele

Holy Ghost - Omah Lay

Thinking and writing

First Time


It's so easy to forget how good we have it, and to focus on the negative in our lives. Our brains are wired that way – it's called the negativity bias. But when we take a moment to be still, to observe, to listen, to reflect, we realize how much there is to be grateful for. Even in the simplest things: Clean water running through the faucet, a smile from someone we love, or even being able to breathe deeply.

You don't have to go through a life-changing event or experience a grand gesture to have gratitude. It can be found in quiet and ordinary moments that often go unnoticed.

Today, I'm choosing to notice. I'm grateful for all the small things that make this life beautiful, even amidst its chaos.

I'm Grateful

Focus


As the light was fading, I found myself torn between being in the moment and preserving its beauty.

In the end, I spent a few minutes taking snapshots then turned my camera off to enjoy the fleeting light show of the evening.

There's something about storing these moments in memory that goes far beyond what my lens could ever capture.

Light Work

Winner

Autumn Leaves - Cannonball Adderley


Self-oriented perfectionism[^1] can be odd. On one hand, it pushes you to hold yourself to ridiculously high standards, and on the other it convinces you that nothing you create is ever good enough to share. It’s not about external validation – you’re not really looking for people to approve or applaud what you do. Instead, you’re in this constant battle with yourself, fine-tuning, tweaking, and second-guessing, because you know it could be better.

I’ve been stuck in this cycle for a while now (easily for over a decade). My laptop and hard drives are full of creative projects – half-finished websites, unpublished essays, photos, videos, and things that I was certain could be the next big thing that have since been created by others. But instead of putting them out into the world, they just sit there where I left them, quietly gathering metaphorical dust. Then, I have my physical creations that are literally gathering dust.

And the very few projects I’ve put out? I never actually told anyone about them. Not a sound on my socials or to my network. There’s one thing I don’t even recall telling my wife about[^2]. I really just launched them into the void and said, "Alright people, if you stumble on this, cool. If not, that's cool too."

In case you're curious: the people have not stumbled on them, but that's cool.

While I tell myself I don’t care about external recognition, it’s ironic how tightly I hold onto my work. The fear isn’t about what others might think. It’s about me thinking:

<CustomBlockquote>
  What if this doesn’t live up to the standard I’ve built in my head?
</CustomBlockquote>

I convince myself I’m just waiting for the right moment. That moment never comes because perfect is a moving target, always out of reach.

The downside of this perfectionist mindset is obvious: your work never sees the light of day, so neither does its potential. Is there an upside? I think it shows that you care about what you’re creating. You want it to be great. Greatness isn’t built in isolation though. You refine it through feedback, iteration, and even a little bit (and sometimes a lot) of vulnerability.

So I’m going to shift my perspective[^3]. I want to stop thinking of sharing as a judgment call on whether something’s ready and start treating it as part of my creative process. Sharing won’t be something that happens at the end, it’ll be the middle.

With that being said, this post might be another one that I quietly save to my folder of “things no one will ever see.” Baby steps, right?

But maybe sharing this is the first of those baby steps.

We’ll see.

[^1]: Self-oriented perfectionism means pushing yourself to be perfect and setting super high expectations for what you do. People with this trait feel like they have to meet these high standards to feel good about themselves or see themselves as successful. They’re often their own toughest critic.
[^2]: To be fair, this was very early in our relationship.
[^3]: The embarrassing thing about this is that I wrote something earlier in the year in which I talk about how I'm shifting my approach to sharing. It's unpublished, of course.

Explore my digital space.

January 8, 2025

Happy New Year

Parc de la vallée de la N'sele

December 12, 2024

I'm Grateful

Light Work

September 10, 2024

What Is Perfect Does Not Grow